It has been a few months since your baby arrived. Maybe it has been a year or two or more. You have been thinking about going back to work but you have fears and doubts. Will you be able to give your children the time they deserve? Are you being selfish by thinking about your career? Questions cloud your mind as you try to figure it out. As moms, we want it all for our kids and us. Below are some common misconceptions about working with kids and how to debunk them
1. Money is not everything
“Money is not everything, your kids are more important,” a well-wisher suggests as you discuss your conundrum. I agree. Money isn’t everything and kids are indeed very important. However, using your abilities and talents for the benefit of humanity is both rewarding personally and professionally. Additionally, taking ownership of your finances and being financially aware will not only benefit you but will also benefit your family, including your children in the long run.
2. Moms make sacrifices
“You’re a mom now. Moms sacrifice everything for their children,” Call me selfish but I cannot wrap my head around this concept. As a Muslim, if all my sacrifices are only for Allah, then why would I sacrifice it all for my kids? What happens when they grow up and leave the nest? More and more parents are now suffering with ‘empty nest syndrome’. Kids are not purpose or goal, but rather means for us to attain greater good. We have to raise them such that they become good mothers, good fathers, good humans and good Muslims. Giving them time and attention they deserve, instead of sacrificing it all for them can achieve all this.
3. Working moms don’t have time for their kids
This is a generalization that is utterly false to say the least. There are various ways to balance work and life these days. Working from home, starting your own business or working part-time, the options are countless. When there is a will, there is a way. If you have your priorities straight, realize your role as a mother comes first and organize your time wisely, working with kids will make you a more productive, more balanced and a better mom. Remember the key is to give your kids quality time and undivided attention. If your kids are in front of the screen all day, it doesn’t matter whether you stay home or go to work.
4. Women shouldn’t be career oriented
While I do agree with this, I think this term is relative. If I were to define this term, I’d say a career-oriented woman is one who puts her career first, even above her children. If that’s the case, then yes, I would happily agree that a woman shouldn’t be career oriented. However, if you are being called ‘career-oriented’ for using your expertise and knowledge you gained working hard in college, then I beg to differ. You have something to offer to this world, your talents, your skills and your knowledge. As far as you know your responsibility as a mother, fulfill those responsibilities to the best of your abilities; no one should have the right to make you feel guilty for being ‘too career oriented’.
5. You can’t have it all
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't. you're right.” - Henry Ford
You CAN have it all. You can be a great wife, raise great kids and work on your career at the same time. All it takes is a firm belief, a clear vision and support of your loved ones. You shouldn’t be blamed for chasing after your dreams. Working on your passions will improve your psychosocial well-being and make you a more confident mother. You will set a good example for your kids and they will be proud of you!
Stay tuned for more tips for balancing work and family life J