Four years down the road: Looking back

It’s been four years. Today is our anniversary and four years down the road, I can’t help but look back and reflect. In this short period of time, I have learned a thing or two about life. We have survived some trials and tests and some bone crushing hugs. We have had conflicts and laughter and a tear or two and somewhere along the way, we have agreed to disagree and live in peace and harmony.

They are your garments and you are their garments. [Surah Baqarah, verse 187]

This is one of my favorite parables in the Quran and such beautiful words.  Reflecting on this verse and my married life so far, below are some of the lessons I have learned about life and love

  1. Love is a verb – I read somewhere, but what it meant – I learned in these four years. love is a verb , it demands respect and empathy, it calls for patience and perseverance, but above all it is a sanctuary that provides peace and comfort – like a garment
  2. Growing together – No one is perfect. We all have our monsters. Marriage doesn’t offer a quick fix to anything but it does help you grow. I was impatient, I have learned to be patient, I was careless, I have learned to take care of things, I liked talking, and I have learned to listen. Marriage beautified my character, beautified me – like a garment 
  3. It stays within family – You become a family and you share with each other your most intimate goals and dreams and hopes and desires. You really get to know each other. You learn about each other’s fears and failures, flaws and mistakes -  and you learn to keep secrets. You hide each other’s flaws, even from your own parents – like a garment
  4. All it takes is a smile – We live in a crazy, crazy world. There are good days and bad days.  On days when your clients are grumpy, your boss is unhappy and your coworkers are whining, you come home to your family and all it takes is a smile – A smile makes you forget about your worries and makes you count your blessings. Marriage is about finding peace and refuge in the middle of all the chaos out there – like a garment
  5. Life ain’t no Disney movie – life ain’t a picture perfect movie and you ain’t princess. Your relationship will get tested. Those not-so-perfect moments demand empathy and forgiveness and they force you to look within yourself to make things work. In all circumstances, whether good or bad, family stays close together – like a garment